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How to Improve
Emotional Intelligence:
a Stress Reduction Exercise

How to improve emotional intelligence? Emotional intelligence is a rich topic. There are many, many ways that help in enhancing emotional intelligence. The exercise below is one way that can help shift you into feeling better when you're not.

What is emotional intelligence? The essence of emotional intelligence is learning to be proactive with your emotions instead of reacting to them. It's about becoming emotionally literate.

Emotions connect you to yourself and to your true inner power. Your greatest power lies in your ability to feel. Through feeling you can enhance your intuition and you can develop trust in your self. Respecting your emotions is enhancing emotional intelligence. Honoring each emotion and responding in a healthier ways is the beginning of how to improve emotional intelligence.

Stress relief techniques for pain and stress reduction

Stress relief techniques for pain and stress reduction
Let's shift. And reclaim your calm.

This is the Loving Self exercise. It builds on the earlier exercise in self love found on the emotional wellness page.

The Loving Self exercise helps you:

  • Feel a feeling you're not comfortable with
  • Stay with the feeling until it flows through you

This exercise assists you in taking charge of responding to an emotion in a gentle and healthy way. It helps you discover more about you. Of course, it also helps you learn how to improve emotional intelligence.

The Loving Self Exercise

  1. Be open with your self. Take a few deep abdominal breaths.
  2. Bring your awareness to the center of your chest.
  3. Your heart chakra is here. It's the place of unconditional love.
  4. Visualize a bright green colored ball - an orb of green light spinning in the center of your chest.
  5. Breathe normally and visualize.
  6. Think of someone you love unconditionally, someone who loves you unconditionally. This person could be a loved one, family member, friend, spiritual figure, role model or pet.
  7. Send your unconditional love to them. Feel their love being sent to you. Feel your heart connection.
  8. Notice what is happening in your chest and your mind-body.
  9. Feel this good feeling moving through your entire body - from the top of your head to your toes.
  10. This is the essence of you. It's a very important aspect of who you are. Let's call this 'you' the Loving Self.
  11. Now. Feeling this good feeling of love moving through you, remember the last time you were sad.
  12. Allow yourself to feel that sadness. Just feel it.
  13. Now. Remember your Loving Self. Feel the energy of unconditional Love moving through you. Feel the arms of Love embracing the sadness. Wrapping the sadness in Love.
  14. Just be present to this process.
  15. When you feel like it's time to move on, open your eyes.
  16. How do you feel now? What did you sense or notice? What did you learn? Write your insights in a journal.
  17. Repeat this exercise as needed. Explore other feelings.

What is emotional intelligence? It's learning to be proactive with your emotions instead of reacting to them. As you do this you will cultivate self-acceptance, self-respect, self-confidence and self-love. It takes commitment and time, so be kind to you in your process.

Most of us need to improve our emotional wellness increasing our experience of emotional health and well-being. Change begins with becoming aware of what we need support in. Today, take another step in how to improve emotional intelligence.

Hayes, P., (1996) RoHun Therapy Manual. McCaysville, GA: Delphi University.

Goleman, D., (1995) Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More than IQ. New York, NY: Bantam Books.

Stone, H. & Stone, S. (1989) Embracing Ourselves: The Voice Dialogue Manual. Novato, CA: Nataraj Publishing.

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